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GLIMPSES INTO THE FAMILY-LIFE OF HAZRAT FATIMA (SA) Part 1 By Azra Ansari Relationship with Children 1
The Fundamental Role of a Mother in the Well-Being and Prosperity of a Generation:
There is no doubt that to a very large extent, the future
of a child depends greatly on the mental and psychological influence that
he is exposed to, through people closest to him in his childhood. And
naturally since a mother is the closest to a child during his growing
years, her role in his upbringing is of the utmost importance.
Therefore, we could say that the starting point of the
success or failure of an individual's life is the mother's lap and the
overall environment of his upbringing, of which the mother constitutes the
main pillar. The child is therefore like a soft lump of wax which is
moulded in the hands of his mother.
If we carefully examine the emotional and logical
approach of Hazrat Fatima (SA) in the upbringing of her great children, we
will be able to discover very subtle and delicate
methods used by her in their upbringing. Behavioral psychologists and
other experts who have studied these methods closely, have developed faith
in the positive effects of the approach adopted by this great lady. This
unique success in the upbringing of children has its roots in the profound
understanding of the nature of man as has been explained by Islam. Every
school of thought has recommended methods of upbringing of children, based
on its interpretation and understanding of innate human nature. An unbiased research and analysis easily proves that the
definition and explanation that the divine religion of Islam has revealed,
regarding the complete innate nature of man (taking in consideration, all
his physical, emotional, psychological, material as well as spiritual
needs), is the most perfect and objective. Moreover, since the method of
child-training and parenting used by Hazrat Fatima (SA) was based in this
Divine Source, studying and practically adopting this method could ensure
the success and well-being of our children both in this world and in the
Hereafter.
One of the most critical factors determining the
characters of the children of Hazrat Fatima (SA) was genetics. As we all
believe, she was an Infallible (Ma'sum) and was thus free from all kinds
of sins and moral pollution. The Ziyarat of Imam Hussain (AS) confirms:
"I testify that you (i.e. Imam Hussain) were from a pure
seed that was nurtured in a pure womb, free from polytheism and
ignorance." ("Ziyarat of Imam Hussain", see Mafatih
ul-Jinan).
Imam Hussain had himself emphasized on the purity of
Hazrat Fatima (SA), on the Day of Ashura, when he announced:
"The virtues of courage, freedom and generosity, I owe to
the purity of my mother Hazrat Fatima (SA)."
All of us are aware of the importance and the greatness
of the Day of Ashura (10th of Muharram), and as a matter of fact, the
extraordinary roles that the children of Hazrat Fatima Zahra (SA) played,
throughout the historical event were the result of her powerful upbringing
and training. In other words, the Karbala phenomenon is one of the best
testimonies of the divine nature of her methods of child-rearing. The Methods of Child-Upbringing Adopted by Hazrat Fatima
(SA)
Psychologists and child-training experts have always
debated regarding the best age to commence child-training, and have not
really reached to any substantial conclusion regarding the issue, even
today. However, according to Islam, the point that actually starts
affecting the soul of the child is the moment a name is chosen for him.
And this is the first stage in the moulding of the character of a child.
It is because of this very important reason that Islam has laid great
emphasis on care and attention in naming of children. Thus, a good name
has a very deep and lasting effect on the soul of a child. In this
context, Imam Ali (AS) has advised thus in one of his sayings mentioned in
the "Nahjul-Balagha ("Peaks of Eloquence"):
"... while the right of the child on the father is that he
should give him a good name." (Saying No. 409)
In other words, one of the primary duties of parents,
especially the father, is the selection of a worthy name for his child. It
is for this very important and scientific reason that Fatima (SA), after
consulting her husband, Imam Ali (AS) and her beloved father, Prophet
Muhammad (SAW), chose the best and most beautiful names for her children. Sacrifice of a goat or sheep (Aqiqah)
Aqiqah (sacrifice of a goat or sheep) and also
alms-giving, are highly-recommended acts that have been greatly emphasized
in Islamic traditions. It has been recorded that whenever Fatima (SA)
would be blessed with a child, she would sacrifice a sheep and would
distribute the meat among people. Then on the 7th day of the child's
birth, she would shave his/her head and distribute in charity (alms), the
equivalent in silver, of the weight of the shaved-hair of the child. Also
she would send gifts to the mid-wife as well as the neighbors such that
they too, would share the happy event with her family.
("Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 257)
Another custom followed by Fatima (SA) was that as soon
as her child would be born, she would recite the `Adhan' in his/her right
ear and would recite the `Iqamah' in his/her left ear. This was because
she was very well-aware that if the child would be acquainted with the
names of Allah, Muhammad (SAW), salat, etc., from the very beginning of
his early life, it would have deep and lasting effects on his/her
psychological inclinations. The Role of Maternal Emotions in Child's Upbringing:
The soul of a human being is created in such a way that
love and compassion are among one of its most basic needs. This is the
reason why children who have been deprived of love, care and attention,
become prone to various psychological and physical illness, a fact that
has been proved scientifically. Research indicates that many crimes
committed are rooted in the vacuum created by lack of love and affection
in the life of an individual.
Fatima (SA) who had herself grown up saturated with the love and affection of her beloved father (SAW),
showered the same love and warmth upon her children.
An incident that has been narrated by one of the close
companions of the Prophet named Salman, says:
"One day, I saw Fatima (SA) who was busy grinding some
grain. In the meanwhile, her son Hussain (AS) became impatient and started
crying. I offered my help to Fatima (SA), asking her whether she would
prefer me to take over the grinding of grain or whether it would help her
if I comforted the child. She answered by saying that it would be better
for me to take over the grinding, since she would be better at comforting
her child" (Bihar ul-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 280).
This incident gives us the knowledge of the importance of
a mother's soothing presence for a child. It indicates how no one else can
soothe and comfort a child, better than his own mother, an important
message to mothers in today's "creche and milk-bottle" culture.
She showed us just how important it is for a child to have his mother
around when he needs her and how these little moments of attention go a
long way in shaping a confident, secure and powerful personality for a
human being. To be continued... |